It's Not About Feeling Happy, It's About Feeling Everything

I am tired.

I am exhausted.

From my head to my soul to my bones - 
I am so fucking tired.

Is it okay if I don't belong anywhere?
If I don't belong to anyone?

It is okay.

I will be okay.

I have to be okay.

Sometimes I feel like there isn't anywhere for me to belong.
Like I don't even belong within myself.
My skin doesn't fit right.

It has never fit right.

Does the sadness ever not creep in?

The overwhelming sadness.

I'm not sure that I've ever felt like things were going to be okay.
There is always a voice telling me that the rug will be pulled out from under me.
Happiness is fleeting.

I know that sadness must exist for us to understand what happiness is.
Without the other, one just exists.
You have to feel everything.
If you want to feel happiness.

But what if the happiness never comes?

Will it ever come?